Bah! Humbug!

I’ve not been feeling particularly festive this year. Real life keeps getting in the way and I’m reminded of how I felt about Christmas in the years between my childhood and the arrival of the next generation of children — distinctly Scrooge-ish and not at all interested in celebrating what I saw as an over-commercialised, money making excuse of a holiday. Oh, those years were pleasant…

So when I saw this meme at muppinstuff, I decided to launch an all out assault on my psyche and remind myself of what I used to love about Christmas and what I’ve come to love.

Obviously, this meme has a decidely Northern Hemisphere slant. I decided to answer those questions because so many of our traditions, and images, of Christmas are built around those of the Northern Hemisphere.

Egg nog or hot chocolate?

If I celebrated Christmas in winter, my choice would be hot chocolate (laced with a little chilli…yum). Christmas Day in Australia is more often sweltering than cold, so my choice of libations usually runs to sparkling wine or beer. And maybe some water, when I need a break from the bubbles.

Does Santa Claus wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

Of course he wraps them. Where’s the fun in a naked present? Gifts are meant to be disguised. The recipient is meant to spend hours trying to figure out what is in that oddly shaped parcel, meant to come to the conclusion that it’s a hair brush and you they hate Santa because short hair needs a comb, not a brush and why the hell couldn’t he have just bought me the recipient a book or three, you know, something I’d they’d actually use.

Coloured lights on tree/house or white?

White. They simply make the tree look a little more magical and fairy friendly.

Do you hang mistletoe?

No. We hang a pair of crystal bells we bought in Austria.

When do you put your decorations up?

Usually on the 13th of December, twelve days before Christmas. We might get in early this year, as tree decorating is a joint task and the 13th is midweek.

What’s your favourite Christmas dish?

It’s all about the dessert. Mum’s trifle (more below).

Favourite Christmas memory as a child?

Would you believe I can only recall the traumatic and evil moments? The traumatic: reaching for my sister’s new Baby Alive doll, which was on top of Mum’s knitting machine, slipping and ending up at the dentist on Boxing Day for some repair work. The evil: waking my siblings, and parents, at four in the morning (I was impatient for my gifts) and blaming one of them. I was twelve at the time. For some reason everyone in my family remembers this. I finally admitted to my part in the early rise last year.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa Claus?

I don’t recall an age. It might have been the year that I snooped and found a shelf of unwrapped goodies that mysteriously appeared under the tree on Christmas Day, addressed to me, from Santa Claus. I don’t believe I asked the question outright, just made the connection and kept quiet. After all, I had younger siblings who still believed in Santa and who knew when that knowledge would come in handy.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Not any more. One year, we handed out all the presents on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day didn’t feel the same. Now presents are saved for Christmas day, and Christmas Day only.

How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Together. We take the box containing the tree and decorations down from the top of the wardrobe and spend an hour or so getting everything just right. One of us likes symmetry; the other a cohesive theme. A few years ago we picked a colour theme and have since stuck with it — silver, purple and a few red accents. Each year we try to find a new ornament, something special that means something to us and which may not necessarily follow the colour scheme. We have our crystal bells from Austria. We have a little stuffed and sequined sheep we found in a shop in Dunedin. This year, however, we weren’t able to find an ornament we both liked.

Snow! Love it or dread it?

Snow wouldn’t survive an Australian Christmas. I do, however, dread the first appearance of fake snow decorations in shops, sometime around the beginning of October as it signals the onset of the silly season.

Can you ice skate?

Is that the thing you do on your arse and/or knees because it’s easier than standing upright on two thin blades? Nope. Can’t ice skate. I would love to learn how but I have no sense of balance.

Do you remember your favourite gift?

Maybe the panda that was bigger than me, and remained that way for a number of years.

What’s the most important thing about Christmas for you?

Spending time with family, whether it be mine or D’s.

My parent’s ideas about Christmas are fairly traditional, both in terms of how we celebrate and what they believe the season is actually about. Christmas Day is spent with the entire family with kids at the centre, sitting down to a traditional roast lunch at the dining room table, gorging ourselves silly and watching the kids have the time of their short lives. Religion is not a focus but there are a few reminders of my parent’s Catholicism — a nativity scene takes pride of place on the sideboard and my father attempts to cajole each of us into attending a Church service.

D’s family are a lot more relaxed and celebrate in what is more traditionally an Australian manner. Family is still central but the meal consists of seafood, cold meats and salads, it is spread on a table in the back yard and everyone takes their time eating and talking. But the major difference between our families is that D’s family is not at all religious. Christmas, for them, is solely about family.

I enjoy both these versions of Christmas and only wish I could celebrate them both on the same day.

What’s your favourite Christmas dessert?

Mum’s trifle, with the sponge cake soaked in port with portwine jelly and cream on top and definitely not child friendly. Usually there’s some custard and fruit too. Christmas lunch is not Christmas lunch without the trifle. Unfortunately, if we’re all a little too stuffed after the main course and are sluggish to approach the dessert table, we miss out. My sister loves this more than me and makes it her mission to get in first and find the piece of the trifle that is the most port-soaked.

What’s your favourite Christmas tradition?

Watching Carols By Candlelight from the Myer Music Bowl on Christmas Eve with my family. We turn the lights way down low, pour ourselves a drink and sing-a-long with the carols.

What tops your tree?

A silver star.

Which do you prefer: giving or receiving?

Giving.

What’s your favourite Christmas song?

I’m a sucker for Christmas carols. I will sing along with them in shopping centres while everyone else is complaining that it’s too early for carols. I have at least one Bing Crosby album (which is playing as I type) that I inflicted on workmates in the weeks leading up to Christmas. Carols make me feel all festive.

But I’m somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to carols. O Holy Night is my all-time favourite — when sung properly, this song is a thing of beauty — a gorgeous, soaring chorus and lyrics that remind us why Christmas is celebrated in the Christian world. The simiplicity of Silent Night always gives me a little thrill, especially when I recall stories of the Christmas truce in 1914, when the song was sung simultaneously in English and German by troops on the front.

If I’m in the mood for scmaltz, The Christmas Song, usually recalled as “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” is what I sing to myself. The lyrics have nothing to do with Christmas in Australia but everything to do with the way I want to celebrate Christmas, at least once.

Candy canes?

On my mother’s Christmas tree. They remain untouched until after lunch on Christmas Day. Once dessert has been consumed, it’s a race to be the first to grab one…

I don’t know whether it’s Bing’s crooning or the memories of Christmas past but I’m feeling more in the season than I did when I started.

Humbugs? Aren’t they peppermint-flavoured hard candy?